I feel so good about myself

Keith Richards - "I snorted my father"

It's not easy for people to pull off looking like an old leather saddlebag AND have a bitchin moustache.

Global warming problems solved

Thanks to Sheryl Crow, we've got the solution, and it was more simple than you think. She's got some "Genius" ideas floating out there, I hope I see them all implemented in my lifetime. Although, for this to happen, we're going to have to take the Air Marshals and turn them into Toilet Marshals. No one ever said saving a planet would be easy. Here's what our pop star genius said she wants to do to save the Earth:

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

and this...

"I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold."

and finally, there couldn't be a better way to get a recording contract and have people take you seriously.

"This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It's a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!) Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the "greenest" life. This will be reflected in the contestant's home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??. . . . a recording contract!!!!!?

This broad is out of touch with humanity. There's nothing I'd want more than a rewashable sleeve that I can wipe my leaky nose on all day while at the office. How disgusting is that? And speaking of disgusting, how big of a square of toilet paper do you need to get the job done in one square? I can barely blow my nose in one square. If I had a dining sleeve however...see...they two are mutually benificial. What a whack job.

Contratulations to you Rocket fans, they won their first game of the NBA playoffs. I can't say as much for those Dallas Mavericks. They got their tail ends handed to them by Golden State, of all teams. It's a great week for sports though, tonight is a do or die playoff appearance for the Stars. They're playing in game 7 and the series is tied at 3. Dallas was down 3 - 1 and has mounted a comeback campaign. I hope they can pull it off.

Hope to settle with workers comp this week. Everyone hold your breath, it's bound to happen this time!

Have a good week.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, you're workers comp

Yeah, so I met with the doctor who does impairment ratings today. He said he'll do the paperwork and get everything turned into WC within 48 hours. He said they could close the case out by early next week, that'd be awesome. I'm so tired of dealing with them and that loser of a doctor that has my case. The good news is, settling the case doesn't mean I'm not entitled to anymore medical "care" from them. That's supposed to be a lifetime thing. So, I'm going to try ONE MORE TIME to get physical therapy approved b/c it really did help and I really did regress when I stopped going.

Other news, yeah, same old life. Work going good, kids are "great" (Dillon can't sit still, Kylie still lies, other than that, they're awesome), Suzanne's play opens tomorrow night and they're all stressed out about it. Oh, and I got the car in the garage today for the first time in about a century. After the garage sale and the sale of the bike, I still have almost no room, but at least I can get the car in now.

Das it - peace out.

Here comes the end, it's just the beginning

So, tomorrow I go for what's supposed to be a "final" evaluation with a special doctor who gives me the all clear, "you're all better", "have a good life", "you be careful now"... The issue is, as anyone who has followed my "column" knows, I SERIOUSLY doubt this is the end. Next will be arguing over the impairment rating, secondary medical opinions, and who knows what else. It's been nearly 7 months since my injury, my guess is I'm 1/2 way done with getting this whole thing settled. I think I'm going to have a Workers Comp Settlement / 40th Birthday combo party. Consider this your "hold the date" notification.

SWEET, Dancing with the Stars just came on. I can't wait to see what Leeza Gibbons dances tonight. Oh crap, she's been eliminated. Dang!!! I mean, I can see the appeal to this "sport" if you're a guy, the girls are gorgeous (Well...not Leeza), but really, it's pretty feminine. It's like saying, "The girls in couples ice skating are really good looking, but he's prettier than she is". It's just not a "sport" where I see the guys really being masculine. That said, I go to Hooters for the wings!

Directions to Paris, France please

So, my brother told me how to get to Paris from home. Use the magic of Google maps and you can get anywhere from here. This will make you laugh. To find directions to Paris, France from Dallas, Texas, do this:

Go to http://maps.google.com
Click on "Get Directions"
In the box on the left, type "Dallas, Tx", in the box on the right, type "Paris, France"
Click the "Get Directions" button off to the right
Look at line 26.
Laugh

Man, think how much you could save in airfare by not flying.

Have fun

Lots of new news

OK, so, it's been less than a week since I've posted last, and I've gotten into the habit of not posting as many entries because it's the same old blah blah as the day / week before. Well, you wanted new news, you got it!

First - The biggest news of the CENTURY. The Donald beats Vince at Wrestlemania, and Vince gets his head shaved. What? You didn't see it! Well...today's your lucky day, here's the link.

Second - The bike sold last week. It was a sad day held by all, BUT, it's for the best. Dillon was upset because he thought I was selling it in our garage sale this weekend and now it can't be. Suzanne was upset for me, but I got over having to sell my bike when I was in the hospital. Things won't ever be the same for me, but it doesn't mean they will be worse. Here she is, just a couple of days before she went to greener pastures.

Third - I have gone back to my old position at Fellowship Technologies, which means I'll be back on the road in about a month. I've gotten 8 new assignments and I'm extremely busy, and couldn't be happier about it. Rest assured, from now on, I'll travel with a night light!!! I've got lots of remote work to do, but I have 3 assignments I'll be travelling to. I'll be visiting some pretty nice cities in Colorado, New Hampshire, and Shreveport (I can hear the envy in your voice as you said "SHREVEPORT"???!!!! Yeah, that's right Shreveport. Sorry 'bout ya!!! Stay tuned for what is sure to be interesting stories from the road.

Fourth - Dad's retirement party was last weekend, and I'm pretty sure we caught him way off guard. Had several people there from his past. Old bosses, co-workers from Houston and Chicago. Great bbq from County Line, lots of beer, a box-o-wine, and good company and roasting. It was a good time. I wonder what the next 33 years will present...

Finally - You saw my post from what seems like an eternity ago, about the dishwasher going out. Well...I FINALLY got around to replacing it today. What a pain in the, uh, I mean that was, no, what I'm trying to say is that it sucked installing it, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. At any rate, 2.5 hours after uncrating it, I'm finished, and the dishes will be clean (even if they're still in the dishwasher) when Suzanne gets home from play rehearsal.

Enjoy the week!

Something useful

I've been holding off on any new posts because I've got nothing useful to say. I either have complaints about doctors and workers comp or something similar. Today, I'm changing my 'tude. First off, work is going pretty good. Back in my old position and I'm enjoying my new challenges at work. BUT, more important is a new challenge that I've been able to conquer. For those of you who do not know about Wikihow, you're MISSING OUT. Without that, I'd never learn how to be this tough.

Wikihow is awesome. http://www.wikihow.com/Rip-a-Phonebook-in-Half.

Next step, I'm gonna learn how to take a stack of all my bills for the month and rip those, that's about twice as thick as the Dallas Metro Phone Book.

Happy Easter!