Big Lew's Blogs

AOL Complaining Microphone

2010-10-06T19:15:00.002-05:00

Seriously, this may be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Years ago, as an email admin, I ran across this, and seriously, its the epitome of the AOL user (at least the user from the late 90's.)

Click here to enjoy the AOL Talking Microphone. Yes, its an executable, but its safe, and funny.

I'm being more productive by working less

2010-05-10T15:06:00.003-05:00

Well, just for a second. I need 5 minutes away from work just so I can hit the ground running again, if that makes any sense. Probably not, nothing does these days.

Killer weekend this past weekend. Went down to Thornton to the camp to just chill out. Bush hogged several acres, did some tractor maintenance, hung out with my dad and his buddy. Mom sent some incredible pork chop and sausage stew with dad for us hungry boys. Sure was good. I brought some "green" beer (as a famous poet once said - you drink green beer and you'll be humped up like a wild dog). Was a great couple of days just hanging out with the dudes, away from WORK.

Sunday we did the Mother's day thing. Went to church, then went to Babes for some great fried chicken and all the fixins. Came home to a nap while the kids did their Mother's day duty, and "cleaned" the upstairs. How they spent 4 hours doing that, and only got it as clean as they did remains a mystery.

Today it's a nice 83 degrees outside. I hope I away from the office early enough to spend an hour or so in this lovely weather before it gets dark.

Have a good week

Sometimes I just have random thoughts

2010-05-05T20:04:00.002-05:00

My favorite type of tv show is the kind that doesn't make me think

My other kind of favorite show (documentaries) makes me feel better about myself because others lives really suck

Why WOULDN'T I enjoy a good beer?

Its getting hot outside

I'm glad my couch is comfortable

If I have to put another $ into car repairs this month, on either car, I'm going to take them out to pasture and literally shoot them (the cars)

My kids won't stop growing

The older I get, the more grumpy I get

I'm still into WWE Wrestling

I'm never satisfied with my cell phone. Latest is the Palm Pre

Carol Burnett was a flipping GENIUS

I'm COMPLETELY excited that Last Comic Standing is coming back soon

I have guilty pleasures, but you won't know what they are, because I won't tell you

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up

If I'm not at home, are my neighbors still loud and annoying?

Is it possible to manage talent if your talent isn't talented?

Can't wait to see Kevin Jonas on Minute to Win It

It's been a long time...

2010-05-03T21:49:00.003-05:00

...and it'll be a long time. That's from one of my favorite SNL skits with Jon Lovitz and Tom Hanks. Some will know what I'm talking about, others will just wonder.

I know no one is reading this, but its just a chance for me to put down a few thoughts to eventually bury in a time capsule.

Its been so long since I've blogged, I'm not even sure I know what to write. Just finding a few minutes free time while Wrestling is on in the background, and I get to let my creative juices flow is awesome. Any week lately requires a minimum of 60 hours of my time M-F, not to mention what happens on the weekends. Yeah, I'm bitching about the amount of hours I work, but know what I'm not bitching about, HAVING A JOB! TONS of people are way worse off than me, so I count my blessings, and say prayers for you others, every day. I really do.

So, I'm going to go decompress out in lovely Thornton, Tx this weekend. Taking a couple of furlough days off of work, away from Internet, and am just going to do guy stuff. Might drink a beer, might even smoke a, smoke a, smoke a cigar.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, there's a movie you MUST watch, its called Role Models. Go watch it.

I guess that's all I've got. Still working, somehow, at H R smart, but every week is another blessing to have a job, I think. Times are tough. Suzanne and the kids still love the school but will love summer more.

I'll write more in several months - just wanted to see if i did this if it would get me back into writing in my Internet diary.

peace

Richardson Wildflower Festival

2009-05-17T20:41:00.003-05:00

Went with an old college buddy last night to the Richardson Wildflower Festival. What a time. Had a few overpriced beers and saw a few bands play. I was there for one reason, and one reason only, to see The Toadies. They are one of my favorite groups from the mid 90's, and they still put on a crazy show. I used to watch them in bars that had less than 200 people in them, they've come a long way.

Other entertainment at the festival included Night Ranger and Kansas. I watched the entire Night Ranger show but only about 20 minutes of the Kansas set. I really wish Kansas would have been on first. Since there were 2 big stages, Kansas' set started only 30 minutes before The Toadies came on, so we had to leave and hot foot it over to see The Toadies. Kansas did a good job from what I saw. Night Ranger, on the other hand, really looks like a bunch of washed up old dudes that are still trying to hold on to what they had 25 years ago. Still have the long hair, leather pants, leather vests with no shirt underneath, gyrating as if they really are as sexy as they think they are. They had 4 or 5 hits that I liked, they played them all, but it was kind of sad watching them. It would have been similar to watching my dad try to pick up chicks in a college bar somewhere. I'm sure one day he was really good at it, but that time has passed.

So, if you see The Toadies are playing somewhere near you, go see them. If you see Night Ranger is coming, save your money and your time.

Happiness...

2009-05-13T20:44:00.002-05:00

- is getting a doggy door installed for my geriatric dog who needs to go outside 4 times a night
- is having a child old enough to mow the lawn. Dillon is all proud of himself. He apparently doesn't realize this chore isn't going to go away, EVER
- is when the Maverick's - Nuggets series will be over
- is having a new clothes dryer that isn't as loud as a freight train going through my living room
- is being drunk (oops, that has to wait til Friday).

What's making you happy?

Thanks for the extra 10% off, Best Buy!

2009-05-12T20:14:00.002-05:00

So, our clothes dryer crapped the bed after 13 years of faithful service. This evening I went on a hunt for a new dryer. I'm still boycotting sears from 2.5 years ago, so I scouted Lowes, Home Depot, and Best Buy. Lowes had the model I wanted, but since I visited there first, I didn't want to buy right away. The same model was at Best Buy, but was about $50 more, it also wasn't in stock for pickup tonight. How does that equate to BB saving me 10%? Glad you asked. Best Buy had these 10% off coupons at the front door for a variety of items, including appliances. I took one, called Lowes and asked if they took competitors coupons, they said they would honor it. Saved me nearly $50.

Moral of the story, you never know if you don't ask!

Joys of a cube farm

2009-05-07T21:40:00.003-05:00

Hey, I can appreciate why we have cubicles instead of offices in most buildings today. It's MUCH cheaper, does foster a sense of community (somewhat), easier to pull cable through, easier to reconfigure the floor...

I really try hard to not infringe on the space of those around me when I'm in the office. I bring my lunch, but try to bring things that aren't too smelly when they are heated up, I keep my conversations quiet, I NEVER use my speaker phone, I don't clip my nails in my cube, and I NEVER, EVER eat an apple while sitting at my desk. I have this weird aversion to food noises, and eating an apple in your cube, to me, is as tasteless as taking a shower in your front yard. Have some common courtesy people, slice that damn apple up BEFORE you get to work.

I cope with about 12 gigs of iTunes music and a set of Sony noise reducing (although it doesn't really reduce enough, but its better than none) headphones.

Guess what the guy next to me had for lunch today?

You're here thanks to LOTD

2009-05-04T11:46:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I haven't blogged in like a year or so. I've been too busy Facebooking (I think that's a real word like Twibe or Tweets). Anyway, yeah, I need to get back to the blog and thanks to Cary, I've been motivated to start doing that again. Look out world, more meaningless diatribe from Big Lew!

But, since you're here, and we're all now BFF's, help me beat my wife in this important contest. I've bet her I will have more friends on Facebook than her. It was a dumb bet on my part as she's more popular, and good looking, than me. But Fans of LOTD can help. Look me up on FB and send me a friend request. I'm the kind of friend you want. I'll be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, or need validation. I'll even help you move if you live within a 300 yard radius of me. My FB email is biglew27 AT yahoo.com.

Thanks,

Jeff

Colorado Trip

2008-09-18T14:25:00.003-05:00

I had the great fortune to spend a couple of days with friends in Colorado this past weekend. I got some good cajun cooking (you can take the cajun out of Louisiana...) and saw some beautiful scenery. You can visit my photobucket album to see more pics. Here are a couple of good ones:

From Garden of the Gods

From some Indian Cave Dwellings. James, what were they called?

How did you score?

2008-09-15T22:49:00.001-05:00

I am a VERY SUPERIOR 1930's husband, regardless what James from Colorado would say.

154

As a 1930s husband, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

3 slabs of ribs, 2 chickens...

2008-08-31T21:41:00.002-05:00

...one happy crowd. For Labor Day festivities, we had several people over to the house (14 adults and their kids). I got a chance to break in my new upright smoker. It's gas, which really makes cooking easy. At any rate, I was taking a big chance since I hadn't cooked on this unit yet (you have to get to know your smoker), but things seemed to work out well. The ribs were OK, definitely not the best I've ever cooked, but they were decent enough and every one seemed to like them. I'm my own worst critic when it comes to cooking, but I have to say, the chickens (2 whole chickens) were INCREDIBLE. My mom gave me a beercan chicken recipe book a couple of years ago and I've never really had the facilities to put the book to use. That's no longer an excuse as this smoker has tons of room in it. That chicken was INCREDIBLE. completely full of flavor and very moist. It was so good, I'm going buy a couple of chickens tomorrow to cook during the week. It's easy, and healthy. My mouth is watering just writing about it!

Hundred pushups - My shoulders are beginning to hurt, so I took a few days off to give myself a couple of days to recover. I did my end of week 2 assessment, I pushed out 35 pushups. I'd imagine at the end of another week I'll be very close to 50. We'll see if this old body will hold out.

Enjoy Labor Day!

Wearing your dad's clothes

2008-08-28T17:47:00.002-05:00

When I was 5 years old (1984), my grandfather (who was a railroad engineer for Southern Pacific) surprised me for my birthday by taking me on a train ride. I got to drive and everything. It was one of the greatest days of my young life, and I still remember it fondly. As part of my day, he gave me a set of engineers coveralls. I still have those, and as I was rummaging through a drawer today, I came across those coveralls. I remember that I loved them so much, as I began to outgrow them, my mom made them into shorts so I could still wear them. Tonight, I let my 5 year old wear them, and we snapped this picture. For those of you with a Cajun or French background, I'm sure you'll agree with me that the only words appropriate here are "awww, cher."

No sleeping tonight

2008-08-26T00:44:00.003-05:00

Well...here it is, a quarter to 1AM and I'm still awake. Ironic considering that today is the first day I've woken up at 6AM since school let out.

First day of school - both kids came home excited today. Kylie is no longer nervous about Kindergarten and she's written a "letter" to her "boyfriend" from last year. It's nothing more than a piece of paper with a bunch of stickers on it that she folded and put in an envelope, but to her, it's of utter importance, no doubt.

Dillon informed me tonight that he likes the way I think ahead, and that he thinks ahead too. Here's how our conversation went:

Dillon - If I had a girlfriend I would tell her I was a racer and I would go to her house in my racing uniform. I would tell her that I came in first place in my race. But she would ask where my trophy is, and I would tell her I came in 4th place.

Jeff - Good thinking Dillon. Did you have a specific girl in mind?

D - No, but I would like a girlfriend.

J - You would?

D - Yes, I think that would be good for me, but I'm a little nervous about asking a girl to be my girlfriend.

J - Well...you can have a girlfriend if you want, but you should probably just take your time getting one.

D - Yeah, you're right. Good night daddy.

Pushups - I'm still on my quest to 100 pushups. I've added crunches / situps back into my routine. More than my scrawny arms, I'm really unhappy with my gut, er stomach. I lost a LOT of muscle as a result of my injury a couple of years ago (you don't know, I might have had a lot of muscle then), and it just never came back. My stomach and arms atrophied the most, so I'm really on a quest to get them back into decent shape. I pushed out 66 pushups tonight (in 4 sets.) Not too bad, my initial test to see how many I could do was only 14 just less than 2 weeks ago. In a single set now, I can run off about 26.

DNC - I started to watch the DNC tonight, but then I saw James Carville on and that was enough. I got in all of 13 seconds of the convention, that's enough. Bring back rythmic gymnastics from Beijing please.

Enjoy your week. Work hard, you have a nice 3 day weekend coming your way as a reward!

First Day of School

2008-08-25T09:13:00.003-05:00

Well...we managed to get the kids off to school, and Suzanne officially started the new school year. Kylie was "nervous", and Dillon was so excited he wasn't "even tired" at 6:30 this morning. I wish I had more pics of Dillon, but as soon as we got to the school, he took off to hang with his buds in the cafeteria until classes started. Kylie hung with me until time to go to her class. If her teacher looks familiar, that's the same teacher Dillon had when he was in Kindergarten.

Week 2, Day 1

2008-08-22T12:13:00.003-05:00

I'm still on my quest to 100 pushups with the help of hundredpushups.com. Today was week 2, day 1 (I'm not like most normal people, I didn't start my routine on a Monday.) I had to do 50 pushups today, which was a LOT harder than the 63 I did on Wednesday. I get the weekend to rest and then on Monday I have to do 66. Considering my level of "Fitness" today, I'm a bit concerned I may hit a wall at week 2. Worst case scenario, I do week 2 twice. I've had bigger problems in my life.

Big night tonight, huge concert. As many of you know, I'm a fan of all kinds of music. I have an appreciation for everything from Gershwin to jazz to Christian contemporary to country to rap, but my heart really lies with 80's metal / hair metal (longing for the good old days, I guess). So, tonight is the "Masters of Metal" tour with Judas Priest and Motorhead. I'm looking forward to hearing some songs from back in the day, but more than that, I'm looking for affirmation. Every time I go to one of these concerts I feel better about myself when I walk out than when I walked in. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Getting ready to take the kids to school to meet their teachers. School starts on Monday. Dillon is absolutely excited and anxious about starting 4th grade. Kylie on the other hand...is a little "nervous" about starting Kindergarten. Justifiable in her mind, I'm sure.

Have a great weekend.

2008-08-21T18:57:00.001-05:00

Photobucket Album

Day 2, Week 1

2008-08-18T11:14:00.003-05:00

I'm on the 2nd day of my 100 pushup challenge. It's not as fun as it sounded when I started, but I'm going to keep up with it. Did 54 pushups this morning, I get tomorrow off and then on Wednesday I have to do 63. Of course, right now it comes in 5 sets. The end goal is 100 with no break.

The program has already done a LOT for my physique, as proved in this picture.

Hundred Pushups

2008-08-17T20:09:00.002-05:00

So, Mark Daddy posted on his website how he's trying to get to, and maintain the ability to do 100 pushups. Not to be underdone, I've decided to go for it as well, except I'm applying the same program to not only pushups, but situps as well. I'm only a couple of days into it, but man, I'm sore already, but feeling good about what I'm going to achieve.

Let me know that you're going to do 100 pushups by publishing a comment here.

Big Lew is hardcore

2008-08-03T12:46:00.002-05:00

Cary from List of the Day sent this to me. This is the most hardcore Big Lew out there. I only thought I was hardcore til I saw this.

You gotta hear this...

2008-06-15T22:24:00.001-05:00

Judas Priests new album.

Lightbulb Joke

2008-06-02T22:19:00.002-05:00

I worked at Lifechurch.tv this weekend and got to sit in on part of their service. Their pastor told a joke, you may have heard it:

How many Charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. 1 to change it and 9 to cast the darkness out.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - it was pre-destined to fail.

How many Baptists (Catholics works well here as well) does it take to change a lightbulb?
Change?

Donut holes make everything better

2008-06-01T15:51:00.002-05:00

I had to go work at Lifechurch.tv today. They're down in SW Fort Worth. Yeah, it's a little bit of a jog for me to get there. I managed to pass up my exit, making me just under 10 minutes late. As soon as I walked in, we had an issue that I had to call support on. Everything was fairly inconsequential though. Took a tour of the facility, for a church with an attendance of less than 400 on average, they really do things first class, ESPECIALLY the donut holes. That's right, everyone who wants one, gets a little baggy of donut holes. I've always thought the hole of the donut tasted a lot better than the ring that went around it.

Got home around 1:15 to listen to my neighbors in their pool, AGAIN. They're still loud during the day, nothing seems to work to quiet them down. They are quiet at night though, after I called the cops on them twice last week...I hate being THAT neighbor, but I've asked them to be quiet for 4 years and nothing else worked.

OK Susan, I'll change my vote to keep you...

2008-05-30T12:57:00.002-05:00

NOT!

Here's another hollywood elitist that's threatening to leave the country if a Republican gets elected. It's fine by me if Susan Sarandon leaves, she's pompas anyway, and hasn't made a decent movie in years. I have a feeling that if I bet on her staying, I won't lose. She's another Alec Baldwin, who "threatened" to bless Canada with his citizenship if Bush got elected, according to this article.

From the New York Post -
SUSAN SARANDON, who appeared in three films last year and won kudos for her TV movie "Bernard and Doris," is still not a contented soul. She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."
OK, American people. You don't want Susan to move out of the country, so it's up to you to elect Barack Obama. What? You thought Susan of all people would be for Hillary Clinton? Well, no. She told John Hiscock: "I thought the whole point of feminism is that you're not supposed to be defined by gender. I don't understand the reasoning behind that, because I wouldn't vote for Condoleezza Rice, and I hated Margaret Thatcher."

Siamese Elephants

2008-05-25T12:29:00.001-05:00

I wish more people could pull off sketch comedy like Carol Burnett. Her show was one of the funniest ever. Her cast was awesome. This was probably one of the funniest sketches they ever did, and when they get on a roll, it's awesome.

It's a good day

2008-05-22T21:17:00.003-05:00

Last Comic Standing started its new season tonight. I totally love that show. I really enjoy standup comedy, I just can't afford to go to comedy clubs, so this is a GREAT alternative.

Here's my favorite skit from any episode of Last Comic Standing, EVER! Gerry Dee is greatness. "And THEN the beearrr likeded the hoeney"

So, as there's a commercial on during the greatest show NBC has on right now, I see the trailer for the new reality show they have coming out, Celebrity Circus. My question is, isn't a celebrities life pretty much a circus anyway?

I had no intention of watching the show until I saw the cast. Rachel Hunter as a circus performer is going to be AWESOME.

The celebrities competing in Celebrity Circus will be: soaps actor Antonio Sabato, Jr., R&B singer Blu Cantrell, former Brady kid Christopher Knight, Olympian Janet Evans, Jason “Wee Man” Acuna of Jackass fame, and supermodel Rachel Hunter.

Its gonna be a good summer...

Appeals Court: Paper Money Discriminates Against Blind

2008-05-20T10:59:00.002-05:00

Alright, I have to start this out by saying I have NOTHING against blind people, I DO have something against stupidity though. I can get behind doing stuff to help people out who have certain physical challenges, no problem. Make my money different sizes, raise the lettering / numbering on them, makes no difference to me. BUT, to use the arguement that we need to do this because blind people have to rely on clerks to tell them what denomination(s) thay have in their hand is idiotic at best. First off, if a blind person is in a store, they probably have someone with them that can tell them what money they have in their hand. If they came with a guide dog (see, I think of everything), they STILL have to rely on the clerk to tell them how much something costs. Are we going to make braille price guns? Maybe, I dunno. It could be a very reasonable answer to the problem, I guess. It's the incompleteness of the thought process and law suit here that irritates me.

You can read for yourself -
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,356727,00.html

Kylie's Dance Recital

2008-05-19T18:43:00.001-05:00

Kylie had her dance recital this past weekend. It was very cute (MUCH unlike last year's recital, for those of you who know the story.) The theme was Fruits of the Spirit. Kylie's class' theme was Patience. I think she was the best!

Pull my finger!

2008-05-05T22:05:00.002-05:00

How proud my grandfather would be.

Well...if he endorses it, I WON'T eat it

2008-05-05T18:18:00.002-05:00

What is this? Seriously, the dude has a bazillion dollars (although I understand he'll lose a substantial chunk to that gold digging wife of his), hosts American Gladiators, STILL gets royalties from WWE videos and merchandise, and he goes and endorses a flippin microwaveable cheeseburger?

Hulk Hogan "Hulkster Cheeseburger" (on a bun)

The Timeless Weapons

2008-04-30T22:19:00.002-05:00

Those of you who know me know the significance of this commercial in my life...

and YES, I STILL have them...

More awesome Mother's Day gifts

2008-04-28T21:39:00.002-05:00

The Hawaii Chair

The Miss Army Knife

Peepshow Shot Glasses (because mom doesn't see enough weird things when she's drinking)

BIG Weekend!

2008-04-27T14:04:00.002-05:00

Had a huge "guys weekend" this weekend. I'm completely spent now and ready for a 2 day nap. Here's a recap:

My brother and another buddy came in from H-town (Houston for all you non-locals) and we went see Rush play at the Superpages.com center (formally Starplex, Smirnoff music complex). Phenomenal show as always. They came on at 7:30 and gave us about 3 hours of music with one small intermission. I always enjoy Rush shows because the crowds aren't your stereotypical burnouts. This time however, the people sitting about 10 feet to my left started smoking pot just before the show started, and were still smoking it in the parking lot after. Amazing! After the show, we did our traditional Whataburger run before calling it a night.

Saturday morning we went play golf. I won't say how bad I did, but I'll say that I didn't get to finish the last hole because I had lost ALL of my balls. It was a disasterous showing by all accounts.

Saturday night we took full use of my neighbors new HD projector to broadcast Rock Band on his garage door. It was spectacular. We also watched a couple of DVD's. If you haven't seen The Best of Triumph - The Insult Comic Dog, I wholly recommend going get a copy, it's hysterical.

Today I'm just hanging out, trying to gather up my energy to start the week. I've posted a few new videos on my Youtube channel, go check them out.

Have a good week.

Ultimate Mother's Day Gift

2008-04-24T09:11:00.003-05:00

How to keep your foot out of your mouth

2008-04-23T09:15:00.003-05:00

This is good info. Thank GOD someone took the time to write this:

How to think before speaking

My Hell

2008-04-21T19:15:00.000-05:00

Goths
Circle I Limbo

Democrats
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Riceboys
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Bill Clinton
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands

PETA Members
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Top 10 reasons to drink beer

2008-04-18T00:01:00.002-05:00

OK, I'm having a terrible time trying to sleep tonight, so I fired up the old laptop and started hitting the Stumble button on my browser. Lo and behold, I came up with 10 compelling reasons to drink beer. I knew there was a reason I was so healthy... If you start with #10, there's no reason to read further. I'm not sure that isn't supposed to be #1. #8 scares me, but my hair has never been shinier.

1. Beer strengthens cordial muscle. There are lots of potassium, magnesium, phosphorus in beer and it is excellent prophylaxis of myocardial infarction (heart attack), hypertension and heart failure. And nonalcoholic beer and dark beer of some brands could decreases the possibility of blood coagulability and thus decreases the risk of clots formation.

2. Beer appeases and cheers up. Hops bitterness renders drowse, and alkaloid isomorphine which is in hop by chemical characteristics is analogous to morphine.

3. Beer withdraws uric stonesMany sorts of beer withdraw uric stones. It happens like that: potassium intensifies natrium and chlorine segregation by kidneys, and urine formation deeply increases. Thus demineralization of organism happens and uric stones are being withdrawn.

4. Beer softens skin and enlarges breast. In XVI century pharmaceutical chemists recommended women to wash themselves with beer in order to have soft skin. And Prussian Queen Louise who had flat breast was advised to drink beer and smear her breast with beer three times per day.

5. Beer strengthen bonesBeer is the main source of silicon. This mineral plays a large role in strength of bone and muscle system.

6. In 100 grams of beer are only 37 KcalTo compare in 100 gram of kefir − 59 Kcal. That means that drinking beer after work is not so harmful for the figure. And so called “beer bellies” form not from beer but from sausages to beer.

7. Beer is good for mental work. There are lots of group B and P vitamins in malt and hop, and they improve mental activity.

8. Beer hastens hair growth And vitamins B and P affect hair growth. It is recommended to make nourishing masks from beer for hair once a week. And if you wet your clean hair with beer and then use hair rollers – after that you will get tight and bright ringlets.

9. Beer is good while having cold. Beer has bactericidal behaviour, if you drink warm beer while having cold or flu, it is possible to recover faster. In Medieval times during plague and cholera epidemic brewery workers rarely were ill. And while having toothache before teeth were rinsed with beer.

10. Beer is good for male potency. Zinc which is in beer is good for male potency and it prevents prostate inflammation.

Greatest WWF Tag Teams of ALL TIME

2008-04-17T08:59:00.002-05:00

Alright, I know you're thinking, "man, Jeff, could you have a more white trash blog?" The answer? Probably so! But, c'mon on, give me a break, I don't watch NASCAR, I quit playing competitive darts, I don't drink Natural Light, I don't belong to a bowling league, and I rarely eat at the Waffle House. Let me have one vice, will ya?

Anyway, Bevo sent me a list of the greatest WWF Tag Teams of all time. I'm not sure I completely agree with this. I mean, where are The Acolytes? Come on people, they were #2 all time, not "Honorable Mention".

Anyway, here's the list, judge for yourself (I don't care who you are, you're by yourself reading this, you know you have an opinion, no one else has to know).

Top WWF Tag teams of all time

Arrested Development Quotes

2008-04-16T18:37:00.003-05:00

You all know this is my favorite show and I'm VERY disappointed it was cancelled while still in its infancy. Fortunately, someone put together a nice list of quotes from the show. Like this one:

Tobias: Oh, come on. Don’t leave your uncle T-bag hanging.

George Michael: Please don’t call yourself that.

We're sorry.

2008-04-12T09:35:00.001-05:00

Dear Jeffery Lewis, As one of our most valued customers, please accept my apology on behalf of American Airlines® to you, your family and your fellow AAdvantage® customers for disrupting so many peoples' lives with the recent flight cancellations related to the inspection of our MD-80 aircraft fleet.

As you can imagine, American's decision to cancel thousands of flights this week was difficult, and it undoubtedly created concern among our best customers – even those who had no travel plans during the period.

If in your travels you were among the many who have been personally affected, I sincerely regret the inconvenience you have experienced. Our employees will continue to work around the clock to accommodate all who still need to reach their desired destinations. We anticipate returning to a full schedule by Monday.

While the media reports have documented the reasons why American took this action and the steps we're taking to re-accommodate and compensate affected customers, I've also attached an explanation of the events for your understanding. It's a bit complex, but at the end of it all, please know this:

First, your safety and the safety of our employees remains our number one priority.

Second, we will learn from this experience, and we will get better.

Finally, we wholeheartedly appreciate your loyalty to American Airlines, and we remain committed to earning your business each and every day.

Respectfully,
Dan GartonExecutive Vice PresidentMarketing

P.S. You may have already contacted us via AA.com® or by writing directly to Customer Relations. Let me reassure you that we will respond directly to your contact just as quickly as practical.

Great sayings

2008-04-02T21:42:00.003-05:00

So, we inherit lots of things from our parents and their parents. Hair color, height, if you have hair on your knuckles (or your head, or back...) and the list goes on and on. One thing I got from my elders were some great sayings. Some of those sayings were:

From my dad's dad (Pawpaw) - "I don't think I understand all I know about that"
Pawpaw - "I'll be" (drawn out "I'll")
Pawpaw - "What kind of deal is that" (thanks to my brother for reminding me of that one)
My mom's dad (Papa) - Mon Dieu ("French for My God")

and possibly my favorite:

From my dad's mom (Mawmaw) - "I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it".

What sayings have you inherited?

De Que Estas Hablando Willis?

2008-03-25T20:28:00.002-05:00

This is GENIUS graffiti

What I like. What I hate.

2008-03-25T20:13:00.003-05:00

Food -
LIKE - My favorite food has to be just about anything pasta based (my mother is hating hearing this). I love spaghetti and meatballs.

DISLIKE - My LEAST favorite food is celery. I can't even stand the smell of it (yes, it DOES have a smell).

TV -
LIKE - WWE RAW is WAR, Rob & Big, Modern Marvels, Gangland, The Big House, JAIL, Arrested Development, Golf

DISLIKE - Moment of Truth (but I wind up watching it every week), Any show that has those stupid Bowflex commercials on it, Curling, That Bret Michaels Rock of Love crapfest

What are you likes and dislikes?

What's that button do?

2008-03-24T20:55:00.000-05:00

This is great.

http://www.shootthestupid.com/2008/03/18/whats-this-button-do/

James Brown - Celebrity Hot Tub... HAAAYYYY

2008-03-24T15:24:00.000-05:00

glumbert - James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party

Some funny pictures

2008-03-18T01:46:00.001-05:00

These look like they're from Japan, some just make me scratch my head, a few make me laugh. I really like the Ronald McDonald.

http://my.mmoabc.com/article/Michael/2670/We-live-in-strange-times.html

How to clean a toilet (or a cat)

2008-03-14T20:46:00.000-05:00

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Need a bathroom?

2008-03-12T14:22:00.004-05:00

Can't find one? Well...you can thank me later, but I have the PERFECT solution to your problem.
Bathroom Finder

Doesn't do you much good if you're at home, right? WELL, they thought of that too. Here's a mobile toilet finder from mizpee.com

Mobile Toilet Finder

Worlds worst commercial?

2008-03-12T13:54:00.000-05:00

5 Second Movies

2008-03-11T20:56:00.003-05:00

No time to spend 1/2 a day watching Titanic? Don't want to watch the same Rocky movie 5 times? Here's the Cliff's Notes version of some classic movies, and movie series. What will you do with all your spare time?

Titanic in 5 seconds

Rocky in 5 seconds

Gladiator in 5 seconds

Snakes on a Plane

Kitty WHAT?

2008-03-08T13:30:00.002-06:00

I always knew cat people were weird, now I have proof.

Click on the picture to go to their website.

Global Warming - Global Schmarming

2008-03-06T15:01:00.002-06:00

We're getting up to 5" of snow today

Rachael - She's Craaaaaazy

2008-03-05T01:28:00.002-06:00

I have no idea how I managed to run across this website. It was a link off of a link off of a link on some page on the Internet somewhere (Thanks Al Gore). Anyway, you need some time to read the entire page, but man, this broad is whacko. If you ever think your relationship is bad, you gotta read this. He's also got a blog, http://thingsrachaelandiargueabout.blogspot.com, but it looks like it isn't complete as the other link.

I'm not sure what the dynamic of their relationship really was. I do get an impression that he may had lead her on a bit. At one point, he mentions how he moved into a 2 bedroom apartment AFTER she moved out. Regardless, this chick is OUT THERE.

Here's an excerpt:

Rachael (7:18:59 PM): soooo how come i'm like 25 on your myspace now? did i do something ?Me (7:18:59 PM): OH
Me (7:19:00 PM): nope
Me (7:19:03 PM): remember they're all random
Rachael (7:19:25 PM): they were random now they are changed
Rachael (7:20:11 PM): that makes them not random anymore

To Caucus or to Primary

2008-03-04T21:20:00.003-06:00

Man, I'm sitting here watching election coverage (yes, that makes me old and boring, I can't help it), and I'm CONFUSED (shut up). I had to figure out what the difference between a caucus and a primary was. I don't remember caucuses before, maybe I never really paid attention, not sure. Anyway, thanks to the power of the Internet, I'm only mildly less confused than before. Here's the most easily understood definition (at least for me):

From http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art16013.asp

The two main ways of assigning delegates are primaries and caucuses. A primary is simply an election that allows voters to go to the polls and cast their ballot for a candidate, thus determining their percentage of the state's delegates. A caucus is a state convention that provides a public place for party members to gather, hear speeches, and vote for delegates to represent candidates at the national convention. Some states only allow voters to participate in their party's primary while other states have no party restrictions and allow voters to participate in any one primary they choose.

I hope you feel more enlightened.

Information you NEED to know

2008-03-04T07:40:00.001-06:00

Don't pretend like you don't care.

WrestleMania 25 is slated to take place in Houston, Texas at the Reliant Stadium -- home of the NFL's Houston Texans -- which holds a capacity of 71,500 for football games, and should hold far more for wrestling.
The event will take place on Sunday, April 5, 2009.

Obama, a TRUE Military Scientist

2008-03-02T10:55:00.001-06:00

Yeah, he's an idiot. This is the worst idea I've ever heard of.

Thanks to my uncle (career military) for sending this on to me.

Animal Cruelty?

2008-02-29T15:40:00.004-06:00

This is from iLoveBacon. Great website

Fidel Clinton

2008-02-28T22:08:00.001-06:00

Stupid Robbers

2008-02-28T20:32:00.002-06:00

Greatness...

(CNN) -- Two masked and machete-wielding men who barged into a club in Sydney, Australia, couldn't have picked a worse night for their robbery -- a monthly meeting of bikers.
About 50 burly bikers fought back with tables and chairs -- pretty much anything that wasn't bolted down. One would-be robber was tied up; the other in the hospital. Police arrested both.
"These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in." Vancornewal and his buddies were at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney when the two men wearing ski masks stormed in Wednesday night. They yelled at patrons to drop to the floor as they emptied cash registers at the bar. Hearing the commotion from an adjacent room, Vancornewal and his pals with the Southern Cross Cruiser motorcycle club stomped through to the bar area to intervene. "They (the robbers) thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes," Jim Webb, night supervisor of the club, told CNN. "They didn't expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables."
One of the would-be robbers crashed through a plate-glass door and jumped off a balcony.
"All he had to do was push the button and it automatically opened," Webb quipped.
New South Wales police said they arrested the 20-year-old man a short distance away.
The second man made a break for it through the club's service entrance, but the bikers tackled him near a neighbor's fence. "We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops," Vancornewal said. Police confirmed in a statement that club patrons subdued the second man until officers arrived, but did not provide additional details. The suspect turned out to be a 16-year-old boy. Both would-be robbers were charged with attempted armed robbery and "face disguised with intent to commit indictable offense," police said.A third person, who was waiting in a get away car, took off when the bikers threw pieces of furniture at him, Webb said. Police have not located him. The Regents Park Sporting and Community Club is a place where locals come to enjoy drinks and take part in various games: cricket, soccer, lawn bowling. The biking enthusiasts meet there once a month to plan rides and other club activities. In the last year or so, criminals have struck the club about 10 times, Webb said. And Wednesday night's incident, while unusual, wasn't the most memorable.
"We have these old bingo players and they are really serious about their games," Webb explained. "They do not like to be interrupted." When robbers barged in one evening and announced that they were holding up the place, the players turned around and testily told them to be quiet. "They were making it difficult for the players to hear the numbers being called," Webb said.

Great Wedding Moments

2008-02-27T10:39:00.003-06:00

My buddies over at List of the Day put out a great set of Unforgettable Wedding Moments. I STRONGLY encourage you to take a look.

Here's a preview

Workout Video

2008-02-20T15:13:00.002-06:00

Anyone remember those "workout" videos that Showtime used to have in the 80's? They were the favorites of many an adolecent teen male. SNL spoofed those videos a while back. Enjoy the video.

HUGE NEWS

2008-02-19T17:23:00.003-06:00

Well...to me it's huge.

My new all time favorite show, Arrested Development, is apparently going to be made into a movie (at least according to Kristin from E! Online). This is huge.

Seriously, would YOU do this to YOUR child?

2008-02-18T17:37:00.001-06:00

WARNING - if you're not into seeing kids cry, you may not want to watch this video

Couple of videos to start your week

2008-02-17T22:28:00.002-06:00

Here's some creepy elmo enthusiast

and...a lesson on how to NOT propose marriage

Top 10 Valentines Day Websites

2008-02-12T21:39:00.003-06:00

All your Valentines Day needs in one convenient list.

10 - How to plan your Valentines Day

9 - How to Find a Valentines Day Date - QUICKLY

8 - Classic Valentines Day Candy

7 - How to PICK the right Valentines Date

6 - Valentines Day e-Cards

5 - Valentines Day Cards for your Loved One

4 - Valentines Date Stories

3 - Win A Valentines Date

2 - Valentines Gifts for your man

1 - Easy Date

What did you learn today?

2008-02-12T10:52:00.000-06:00

My dad used to ask us that, EVERY DAY, and it drove me and my sister nuts (remember that Jamie?). Didn't come to dinner with something you learned today? Fine - get up and use those 1000lb encyclopedias my parents bought during the summer of 1970 and find something to learn. I HATED that, but once again, I'm FORCED to admit my parents were right. I absolutely hate admitting when I'm wrong, but it is what it is, I was wrong, we should strive to learn something new every day. I posted a blog on my corporate website today as a result of a conversation I had with one of my customers today. If I learn nothing else today, it will be patience. I've included that blog for your reading enjoyment.

Now, go learn something today!

--------------------------------------------
What did you learn today?

As delivery managers, we have a responsibility to wisely use the time and money provided by the local church to implement Fellowship One. We are called to help empower the church to more efficiently bring people to the table of the Lord.

I often view myself as an educator (amongst other things). I am here to help people understand how to use Fellowship One in their unique environment, and use the wonderful technology we posses to empower the local church. Sometimes people embrace this, other times it can be more confrontational to get people to leave the comforts of their current church management system and learn something new in the name of progress. It requires people to leave their comfort zone and make themselves vulnerable, not many people like leaving anywhere comfortable.

The delivery team at Fellowship Technologies is an evolving team. There was a day and time where we were all cowboys (and cowgirls), roaming the countryside, going from church to church, each doing our own thing as we best saw fit. Those days are long behind us, and it hasn’t been a painless road, I must confess. But I can tell you that the changes we have made have been for the best. Without a structured process and product (being the service we deliver), we would lose our departmental and corporate identity. We now produce a better, more standardized product, and hopefully a more efficient process, leaving us more time to deal with process change within the church itself. In order for this to work, people must be open to change, and if necessary, the pain that goes along with it.

I have been delivering the Fellowship One product to churches now for over 2.5 years and I have learned so much during my tenure. I have realized that, yes, I am a teacher to many, but those many are also teachers to me. EVERY church I work with teaches me something. It’s that something that everyone in my team brings to the table at regular intervals to help us produce a better, more refined product, making better and better use of the church’s time and money. Without you teaching us about you and what you do, we become stagnant and stale and the product no longer evolves. Each delivery manager learning something new puts us in a vulnerable place. We have to ask ourselves if what we did before was the best way to do things. If the answer is no, we have to admit we could have done things better and continue to work hard to discover where we fall down. We do this all in the name of helping you, the local church; more efficiently bring people to Christ.

If I don’t learn at least one thing new during the implementation with a church, I feel I have failed the church, myself, and my future clients (even if it means learning how to be patient!) I encourage all to make a conscious attempt to learn something daily that will help you tomorrow and the rest of your days. And please never stop being a teacher. We’re a team, and we NEED each other to help make the team successful.

Basketball Video

2008-02-12T07:24:00.001-06:00

Here's Dillon's latest basketball game. He doesn't get much ball handling time, but he actually does execute pretty well setting up screens and such. Rather than let you listen to obnoxious basketball moms yelling "GET THE REBOUND", I decided to put it to music. Enjoy!

I think I could play the flute

2008-02-11T11:34:00.001-06:00

From worth1000.com

Vince Gill is YOUR new favorite person

2008-02-10T21:22:00.000-06:00

So, I'm patiently watching the grammys, waiting for Amy nuthouse to perform, when Vince Gill gets an award for country album of the year. Ringo Starr gives him the award and Vince says, "I just got an award from a Beatle". Then pauses, looks over at Kanye West and says, "Have you had THAT happen yet, Kanye?" I sure hope Vince doesn't get shot now...

Other Grammy news - Herbie Hancock busted out on the piano to Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. That is one of my all time favorite songs, and to see Mr. Future Shock himself perform it was awesome.

And finally, Dude, I need this t-shirt.

Aunt Glenda's birthday video

2008-02-10T12:08:00.000-06:00

This is obviously about a little girl named Glenda Faye. She just had her 21st birthday and her 29 year old son, Shaun, put this video together for her. I have to post it here because Youtube won't let me. Their limit is 10 minutes, this one goes for 12+. Sorry for the delay in posting. Soon I'll post the video of Dillon cutting a rug while at the party.

He insured WHAT?

2008-02-07T21:52:00.000-06:00

Tom Jones insured his chest hair this week for $7 million. Well, $7 doesn't buy what it did a couple of years ago, I know, but still, $7 mm is a LOT of chest hair. So, all you clowns who tell me I should manscape my chest, FORGET IT. I'm not doing it until I get some handsome reward for it, like Tom would should he happen to lose his man fur.

And from the files of "People who should be insured from stupidity". Carrot Top. This dude is Bizarre (that's bizarre with a capital B). Looking at this guy just makes me want to do a few things.

1. Get as much plastic surgery as I can get a loan to pay for.

2. NOT work out

3. Wear my clothes from high school. Apparently the bigger you get, your clothes continue to fit.

4. Get a perm

Valentines Day Tip

2008-02-07T13:30:00.001-06:00

Brought to you by your friends at wikihow.com.

How to be romantic

Tom Brady is an idiot

2008-02-05T16:45:00.000-06:00

Yeah, you heard it. I'm a little slow blogging about the Super Bowl, but let me tell you, I'm elated to see that A-hole Brady (and Randy Moss) lose. I was pulling for New York, but I was pretty much ambivilent about the whole thing. That is, until yesterday when Brady and Moss announce that they're pulling out of the Pro-Bowl. The Patriots say they backed out because of ankle injuries (both of them), but I don't believe it. Poor sports don't even begin to describe them. Leaving the sidelines before the game is over, backing out of the Pro-Bowl. I hope they have a year like the Saints next year. Jerks.

Think I have the flu, maybe that has something to do with my rant...

How'd I get my hair that tall/?

2008-02-04T10:03:00.001-06:00

Doesn't my sister look absolutely thrilled to be there?

And the answer is...

2008-02-02T09:43:00.000-06:00

It's the on / off switch for the Air Conditioner. Want to be comfortable? No problem...pony up a quarter or two and we'll take care of you.

Entertainment

Last night I went see a musical act that plays some of my favorite music. Ever heard of The Bellamy Brothers? We went to Billy Bob's Texas to see them play. Show was good, but they sure do play like they're in their 60's. Not a lot of movement on stage. Music was great though. They have a new gospel album out and they played a song about their "drug problem". Talked about when they were kids they were drug to school, drug to church, drug to the woodshed when they misbehaved. And if more people had a "drug problem", the world would be a better place. I agree. I wonder if they're republicans??? They also had this guitar player who was straight out of 1984. Sleeveless T-shirt, long permed hair, cargo / parachute pants, and a headband. He looked like he just walked off the set of the Olivia Newton-John Physical video. After the show we made our traditional stop for post-concert taquitos at Whataburger.

Politics

I found a cool website today. Glassbooth.org asks you some questions and then tells you which presidential candidate most aligns with your viewpoints. No surprise came up that I was a conservative (after all, it's just like gun control (reference to my comments on the local Fox affilliate in Nashville)). The candidates most align with me in this order:

-Huckabee - 75%

-Romney - 74%

- McCain - 72%

Go take the test and see how you do.

Off to Dillon's basketball game in a little while. Have a good weekend. Enjoy the Super Bowl. I'll be wearing my Saints jersey. GEAUX SAINTS!!!

How do you waste your time?

2008-01-30T20:57:00.000-06:00

Well, if it's Wednesday night, I waste my time watching The Moment of Truth. Seriously, we need the SAG writers to be done with their strike so I don't have to watch this crap anymore. The cliffhanger question on tonights episode, asked of a beauty queen, was, "Have you ever sabotaged another pageant contestant?" I can't wait to find out. Actually, if a good rerun of Seinfeld, or Raymond is on, I'll watch that instead. Actually, I'll watch ANYTHING as long as it's not that Bret Michaels show.

Other time wasters:

Monday night - WWE RAW
Tuesday night - Basketball practice with Dillon (not really a waste of time)
Thursday night - The Office, My Name is Earl, Celebrity Apprentice (be sure to watch this week, Vince McMahon will be their special guest)
Friday night - 12 pack of Coors light

Call for guesses. OK, I posted a picture a couple of days ago of this mystery box that takes quarters on a wall at the American Legion hall in Louisiana. I'm not posting the answer until some of you actually take a guess and let me know you were here. C'mon, it's a game, let's all play TOGETHER. Forgot what it looks like? No problem, it looks like this:

Family Reunions

2008-01-28T09:25:00.000-06:00

So, I had the fortunate experience of getting to visit with nearly every cousin I have on both sides of my parents families this weekend. It was my grandmother's 21st birthday on Saturday, so I loaded up the kids (sans Suzanne, she was ill), and headed down the road 6.5 hours to Lafayette, La. We had a good time drinking 10oz beers (some preferred 1/2 gallon jugs of wine, but that person will remain anonymous), sharing lies, and remembering the good old times. Meme made an incredible shrimp stew and fried shrimp. Saturday was a recovery day for the first 1/2 of the day, and then we had po' boys for lunch.

To view all the pictures I took - visit the January '08 Guidry Reunion photo album I have on Photobucket

Saturday evening was my aunt's 21st birthday party in Abbeville, La (it's as big as it sounds). There were tons of relatives there too. We had a great time and she was completely surprised. The party was at the American Legion in Abbeville. The American Legion has these boxes on the walls, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what they were. There was one up in the front, and one in the back. Here's two shots, do you know what these are for? I'll let people guess and I'll tell you in a day or two. Send a comment with your guess. Get it right, win a prize. Josh - No guessing for you.

To visit all the pictures I took (RAW, and unedited), visit the Lewis reunion photo album I setup on Photobucket

All this fun family activity got me thinking of what my top 10 favorite things about visiting Louisiana. They are:

10 - Drive across town in under 15 minutes

9 - Watch people get mad who have do drive an entire 15 minutes to get across town

8 - Drink beer out of 10 oz cans, but pay the 12 oz price for them

7 - Peruse old photo albums that show my underwear hanging out of my shorts

6 - Make a "pallate" for the kids

5 - Park in the front yard

4 - Go barefoot and no one cares

3 - Go ahead, have a dirty white t-shirt

2 - Louisiana cooking

1 - Catching up with family / friends

I've got some movies and other reports from the weekend coming up. It was a really fun time.

In other awesome news, my IT guy has had my laptop for a couple of days. I'm going get it in about an hour, but what's awesome is that it will NOT have Vista on it, it's going to have XP. I'm completly pumped. Vista has a couple of cool utilities on it that I'd like to use, but with Vista continually crashing on me, I rarely have access to those cool utilities anyway.

We LOVE to Fly

2008-01-24T16:24:00.000-06:00

So, I got a nice letter in the mail from American Airlines today. They wanted to tell me how important I am to them and how I shouldn't have to be inconvenienced by their delayed flight crew (reason my flight was so late). They gave me 3,000 miles for my troubles. Now, for frequent flyers, you know it's all about the miles and the perks. I'm more than happy to take miles from AA anytime they want to give them to me. 3,000 miles is good, but not as good as the 5,000 I got the time my plane caught on fire.

On to Vista...today marks the 4th crash of my Vista OS in 2 months. If I only had Windows NT back, I could be productive again. I've probably lost a minimum of 40 hours of productivity in the last 2 months due to this POS operating system. Post your frustrations if you've had similar encounters. I've posted a link to Bad Vista for you, so you can have company in your Vista misery. Or, you can always hang out here and we can bash it together.

Alright kids - I'm out for the weekend. Enjoy yourselves while I'm "enjoying" the arctic blast of '08 here in North Texas.

Show me your past

2008-01-23T21:12:00.001-06:00

Well...I'm not so proud (and apparently, neither is my uncle who dressed his his 8 year old in a Pabst Blue Ribbon shirt). The black and white picture is my sister and I in 1975. This proves that puberty kills cute people.

This is, from left to right, my sister, my cousin Ashley, my brother Josh, my cousin Joey, and uh...me (pre-mullet)

What a weekend

2008-01-22T15:46:00.001-06:00

Well...I had a church that needed assistance over the weekend. So...I took a trip to Chicago to go see them. I got there and it was...well...what's a word for REALLY COLD? Well...There are many, but the bottom line is, -7 degrees just sucks. When I left it had warmed up like 29 degrees to about 22 degrees. It was snowing, and overall, was just miserable.

But things got better when I got a phone call from American Airlines to tell me my 8:15PM flight on Monday had been delayed to 9:30PM. Not feeling confident that I'd get out that night, I decided to chance it and head to O'Hare. While sitting in an airport bar, documenting my trip, I get another phone call from American, letting me know my flight had been delayed again, this time to 11:30PM. Loving life, I finally get on the plane. I got upgraded to first class, which was nice, but I just wanted to sleep, and they weren't serving a meal anyway. The guy sitting next to me was a complete prick. I needed to get up at one point and use the bathroom, here's how the exchange went:

ME - "Excuse me, do you mind letting me out to use the bathroom?"
JERK - "I guess I don't really have a choice now, do I"
ME - "Actually, you do, but you made the right choice by letting me out"

Then, he spent the rest of the flight singing. SINGING. Pretty annoying.

I concluded my awesome evening by stopping at Whataburger at 3:00AM to pick up a taquito. I love flight delays...

Other Stuff

My friends over at List of the Day continue to put out quality blogs. Some of their archives are awesome, especially this one on Glamour Shots gone bad. It's a must see.

Continuing a Lewis tradition, Dillon shaved for the first time, in 3rd grade. He was so excited. Now Kylie wants to shave. I'm waiting for her to grab a razor and go for it. If you know Kylie, you know she will, it's just a matter of time. I'll have bleeding legs or fingers soon, I'm sure.

Family is finally healthy. I'm a mess as the dry arctic tundra air in Chicago has really torn my sinuses up.

Heading to Louisiana this weekend. Should be a good visit. It's my grandmothers birthday and all of her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids will be there. I don't remember the last time that happened, and don't anticipate it will happen again anytime soon.

Peace out

My band photo is better than yours.

2008-01-17T13:18:00.000-06:00

Seriously, these are some of the worst band photos you'll ever see. Brought to you by spinner.com.

20 Worst Band Photos

Other news:

Kids and Suzanne are STILL down with that darned stomach virus. With my luck, I'll come down with it 4 minutes after my plane takes off on Saturday. Suzanne just took the kids' temp. Dillon - 100.1, Kylie - 101. GREAT. Maybe Stomach Flu. Better load up on Immodium before I fly...
Big Show is coming back to WWE. WHAT??!!! You haven't heard?

Dats it - Stay Classy San Diego!

Did you ever know that you're my hero???

2008-01-16T20:48:00.000-06:00

First off, I HAVE to tell you about the new website I found. This is absolutely the best site for your personal surfing pleasure. I recommend TOTALLY that you check this out. MOST stuff is safe for work.

List of the Day

When my kids grow up, I sure hope they don't act like this, because I will be in jail if they do...

http://view.break.com/433536 - Watch more free videos

I'm in Chicago this weekend, so, I thought I'd pull up the weather. THAT was a good idea.

Jeff, you there? How's things? What's been going on?

2008-01-15T21:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm here, and things are going well, thanks for asking. What's been going on? Well...quite a bit, quite a bit of nothing. Here's the skinny...

Dillon's report card came out, all A's again. I told him to ask his Pop about the time he made an A.

Dillon had his first basketball game of the season. He's a natural.

COWBOYS LOSE. COWBOYS LOSE. 'nuff said

Stomach bug of some sort floating through the family. Has taken Kylie, Dillon, and Suzanne out. I'm standing steadfast. I think that's what beer does, it boosts your immune system.

My cousin, Gena, is in a band in LA. She's a cool rocker chick. They need votes for a contest. Don't be a dud, go vote. Here's her note about it:

Our last record "Lion The Girl" has been nominated by a local fanzine, 'LA Record' as one of the best albums released in LA in '07. If you agree, you can vote for us here- www.larecord.com and then click on- "L.A. RECORD READER POLL: 2007 LOS ANGELES ALBUMS."

She's also in a commercial. She's the one with the drumsticks. Catch it at http://target.com/onestar.

Take it easy. I'll be in Chicago startin on Saturday. Nice to pick JANUARY to visit UP NORTH. Oh well...

Dude, what's going on?

2008-01-03T20:43:00.000-06:00

Glad you asked. Let's look back at 2007 (in no particular order)

- Got my halo off 3 days before the end of the year, spent the next 3 months in rehab.
- Took up golf
- Started travelling again. Made several trips over the course of the year to Chicago, Denver, Daytona, Memphis, Shreveport, and Brooklyn.
- Sold the motorcycle
- Threw my dad a retirement party
- Turned 19
- Got a Wii
- Dillon turned 9 (one more year and he's an "adult"), Kylie turned 5
- Went to Disney World (who'd a thunk)
- Started making videos on the internet

What a great segway. I've put a couple of other videos out. One of Kylie singing Hannah Montana, and one of our new years party a few days ago.

You guys have a good week(end).

Logan

2008-01-02T10:33:00.000-06:00

I rarely post stuff like this. But sometimes things just touch you and you want to share. This video is about a 13 year old kid, Logan, who was sad for having to put down a calf that was just born on the family farm...

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

2007-12-29T00:37:00.000-06:00

Subscribe to my youtube channel to catch all of my videos, they won't all be listed here on my blog. The channel is:

http://www.youtube.com/biglew27

Here's my latest video, Dillon playing Slow Ride on Expert mode on Guitar Hero III.

Your parents really are smarter than you...

2007-12-27T16:57:00.000-06:00

...even if you don't want to admit it.

My mom managed to educate me on the joke I blogged about earlier. DUDE, how easy is THIS?

What do two WRIGHTS make? An AIRPLANE. The Wright brothers. People, I thought you would know that.

They say that you are supposed to associate those people who can make you a better person, those that are as smart or smarter than you...well, do I need to get new friends?

I don't get it

2007-12-27T11:42:00.001-06:00

Someone help me understand this joke. Dillon just read it on the Nickolodeon Website:

Q - If two wrongs do not make a right, what do two rights make?

A - An Airplane

I don't get it. Someone help me.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T10:21:00.002-06:00

From one of the webs funniest sites...

He's a baller...

2007-12-20T05:26:00.000-06:00

Dillon's basketball practice. His coach sure is a lot tougher than last years coach. I think that's a good thing.

Still working on the resolution for these videos. Maybe YouTube has a tutorial video or something...

The Butterfly Dance

2007-12-18T06:54:00.000-06:00

OK, here's a YouTube file. The video definitely lost some of its clarity, I'll have to experiment, hopefully the quality will get better.

So, Butterfly Dance. I think Kylie covered more ground as a butterfly than anyone.

Have a warm week...

Kylie's Ballet

2007-12-17T23:52:00.001-06:00

We had the pleasure of visiting Kylie's ballet class tonight. Here's a video. Quite impressive, I must say!

I'm just learning how to post videos on this blog, so be patient. I used the video service that comes with this blog, but it sure seems to make small videos. I'm going to try using Youtube, I'll let you know here if it goes better.

What do YOU want for Christmas?

2007-12-06T21:18:00.000-06:00

I want the Show'N'Tell phono viewer on page 85 of the 1971 Sears Catalog.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wishbook/collections/72157600003636126/

What I did tonight

2007-08-09T22:05:00.001-05:00

Call me old, call me a fuddy duddy, call my taste in music queer, but I just saw an ABBA documentary. They were awesome. Did you know that the only musical acts to EVER sell more records than them were Elvis and the Beatles. Now, do you call THAT queer taste?

To add to music news, Van Halen is announcing their tour next week, with the original VH bad boy, DLR. Not sure if I'm man enough to see that show. I spent most of my white trash kitchen pass to go see ZZTOP (which were NOT white trash), but, David Allen Coe on the other hand...

BUT, we can't just let all of our white trash go, so, tomorrow night, I'm going see XCW - eXtreme Championship Wrestling in the wrestling capital of the world - DENTON, TX. $10 to get in, bring your own beer. BRING MY OWN BEER. It must be GENIUS day at the wrestling arena. Josh got him and his big brother WWF Tag Team championship belts. I think we may wear them in just to show we're legit, not just some drunk poser punks. That's Friday night.

Saturday afternoon - we head to what is effectionately known as the Vodkaplex to see Rush. All you need to know is that it's an ampitheater, and we have lawn seats and beer will cost, well...it will cost us dearly I'm sure. But, I pay extra for quality, so I don't feel so bad.

I'll be thinking of each of you as I relive my fleeding youth, again.

Where's your dinner plate

2007-08-01T10:23:00.000-05:00

Kylie, last night, as usual, took about an hour to "finish" her dinner. I was in the living room and I had her bring me her plate to see if she was "finished" enough to come away from the table. I said she was. She got some ice cream later in the evening and then it was bed time. As I was walking down the hall downstairs, the hall closet door was partially open. I went to close it but something was in the way. I opened the door to clear the obstruction. What could it have been? YES, it was her DINNER PLATE. Apparently she didn't understand earlier when I said she could be finished, so, now we have to deal with her lying. As a result, she got spanked (I HATE doing that, but there's a standing "spanking" penalty in my house for lying.) It's a zero tolerance policy. Today she gets no snacks between meals, maybe that will help her be hungrier for dinner.

Her bed is still dry in the morning, but Suzanne's not convinced it's "clean". She things she's actually peed in it at night, but it's dry come morning.

What's new with you?

Rosie turns down The Donald, Kylie doesn't pee in her bed

2007-07-30T09:16:00.001-05:00

So, BIG news this week...

Rosie, the idiot's Rush Limbaugh, has turned down an offer from The Donald to be on The Apprentice. Damn, I was contemplating starting to watch that show, but without her on it, I STILL have no reason to watch it.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291363,00.html

BIGGER NEWS -
Little miss Kylie has graduated from pullups at night to panties!!! You would think it was the day before that girl graduated from college when we made the transition. She sure is proud of herself. Let's hope we don't have to do too much laundry in the coming weeks.

James and Rachelle - How's Colorado? Have you become Liberals yet?

Things have been kind of slow, I've been at home and not travelling too much. In fact, I've travelled so little, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my gold status with American next year. Hey, there's worse things in the world. I'm in Chicago in 2 weeks, Memphis the week after that, and then a few weeks after that, NY, NY, other than that, no travelling.

How's the neck? Thanks for asking! I'm doing fairly well. Very little stiffness, and it's not preventing me from sleeping at night (my own psychosis is keeping me from sleeping, but not my neck.) However, I think it will still be about another year before I am as good as I'm going to get. It's not keeping me from golfing or drinking beer, so I can't ask for much more than that right now.

OK, that's it, not too much else to report. Have a good week!

About time this idiot got his walking papers

2007-07-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

CU Professor gets FIRED

Jeff Lewis on TV

2007-07-09T13:03:00.001-05:00

No, not me, although some people might argue that we're more similar than different. If you have 15 minutes, watch the video, he's got to be a pleasure to work for.

Jeff Lewis - Flipping Out

Enjoy your week, I'm off to Shreveport, WOO HOO!!!

You got robbed by a WHAT???!!!!

2007-07-08T00:06:00.000-05:00

I was working in Manchester just a few weeks ago. If I would have known that robbing a bank was so easy when I was there. JUST KIDDING...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,288542,00.html

Don't mess with Texas

2007-07-06T09:21:00.000-05:00

I found this today. Seriously, it may be old but the addage holds true, you don't mess with Texas.

Texans Elect Gun

Other goings on:

DFW is still flooding. The golf course I go hack on is running out of holes for people to play on. It backs up to a lake and the lake is rising and flooding out the course. It's so wet, that I actually saw a beaver on the course the other day. A BEAVER!!!

VISTA - OMG - it's a completely different world, and I'm not liking it. It's like...everythings, oh, I don't know, DIFFERENT.

TRAVEL - Got stuck in Chicago the other day. Literally, STUCK. Got to the airport at 3:30, waited for a flight til 10, almost everything was cancelled (weather all over the country), jumped in a rental car, got to my hotel 25 miles away (nothing closer was available), got on the phone with AA at midnight, wrapped the call up at 1 am, woke up at 3:30 for a 6AM flight. I heard it took some people over 2 days to get out of O'Hare.

Speaking of travel, anyone else getting tired of every road becoming a toll road?

Not much else happening. Working from home most of this week and heading to one of the nicest cities I've ever seen, Shreveport. In a couple of months I'll be heading to Manhattan on assignment, my wife is NOT happy about it. She just needs to realize the amount of sacrifice I make for my family. It's tough going from Shreveport to Manhattan, it's like going from New Orleans to Chicago (inside family joke).

Peace...